Of course I had not lost my interest in the 'good parts'. But as a man I had learned the virtue of sexual tension, that a furtive glance, a finger tracing the length of ones spine or parted skirt could do much to fire the mind. And while this woman kept her voice low and eyes down turned when she handed me the volume, her fingers lingered upon it, and slid across mine as she placed it in my grasp. I thanked her and headed back to my kiosk, located deep in the third floor stacks. There I began to read, and take notes, comparing the life of Anais Nin to those of her characters. What a shocking libertine she must have seemed in her day, so free when women were not permitted the pleasure of touch. And as I read, I grew hard, my penis swelling with desire. Lost in my notes, I almost missed the sound of someone in the stacks. It was my librarian, quietly putting books away. And yet I caught her stealing glances in my direction, casting me a Cheshire smile. I am not a beautiful man, but. I cherished my time withmy mom. I helped her to cook and clean and she even showed me how to useher sewing machine. Some of my fondest memories of my mother was of thosetimes when we were alone working on projects or cooking dinner.Even though I was quite good at sports, I didn't have the killerinstinct. I felt bad when I was beating my opponent. I won quiteregularly, but they felt like hollow victories for me. I took a bitdifferent course of study than many of my friends in high school. My momwas always telling me to challenge myself. I was the only boy in mytyping class, but I relished achieving one of the highest WPM scores. Ialso took shorthand and home economics instead of "Auto Mechanics" or"Woodshop". All of those skills were instrumental for me taking notes incollege and then when computers took over the workplace. It's not that Ididn't like working with my hands or on my car. I could change the oil,sparkplugs, brakes, even the clutch. But that was nothing compared to mypride.
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